Bailouts

President Obama
Members of Congress
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500-0004
(202) 456-1414

Mr. President and Members of Congress:

Sirs:

I have gotten myself in pickle and looking for some help, let me explain my problem to you.

Several months ago I applied for and received a credit card with a sizeable limit and started to buy things I wanted, not necessarily needed but just wanted. Made a few loans to family and friends and took a couple of vacations and a few trips to a local casino. Before long I had maxed out this card and was making minimum payments but still wanted more stuff. I then applied for another card and it was approved. So now I was able to buy more stuff, and I did, before you know it I was in need of another card and then another. Now I can’t make the minimum payments on these cards and all my other commitments are behind, facing bankruptcy and foreclosure on my home.

I am in need of a stimulus /bailout package. I believe about 5 million should do it and I do have a plan of action in place.

First I plan to take my family (Wife, children, brothers and sisters, their families and cousins and their families, on both sides you know, in-laws, out-laws and such) an on an extravagant vacation somewhere in the South Pacific, big expensive resort, with all the fun in the sun things to do, all expenses paid by me of course. About 3o days of this would tire us all out and we would head home. (Air fare, first class, both ways also paid by me) When arriving back home after such a tiring and stressful trip I’ll need to rest up, just chill out and get myself ready to go back to work (if I still have a job) I had no vacation time available so did not receive any compensation while on vacation. Do you think they might give me a big bonus to help me out even though I wasn’t doing my job?

Sincerely
Joe Q Public
Anywhere USA


IN GOD WE TRUST
NOT SO MUCH IN YOU ANYMORE